40 Funny Schitt’s Creek Quotes To Wipe Up The Monday Blues
Last updated on January 3rd, 2024 at 12:40 pm
“Schitt’s Creek Rose family” by “Ron Cogswell“, licensed under CC BY 2.0
Schitt’s Creek is an entertaining show because of the affable characters and numerous gags. The show’s script is likely the most common reason for fans following Schitt’s Creek. The episodes are full of stinging and funny punchlines and beautiful sayings, making it a quotable show. Some of the lines are so fantastic that it steals everyone’s hearts.
There are many reasons to enjoy Schitt’s Creek, from the eccentric characters and amusing scenarios to the utterly quirky phrases. Here are ‘simply the best’ Schitts Creek quotes that can be perfect Instagram captions.
Funny Schitt’s Creek Quotes
The Rose family’s rags-to-riches story has many hilarious moments. The show features the most memorable and humorous one-liners. With the following vintage funny Schitt’s Creek quotes, relive some of the hilarious moments of the series.
“I have asked you thrice now for a towel so that I may wash this town off my body.”
DAVID ROSE
“What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic. But it was also wrong.”
MOIRA ROSE
“I don’t skate through life, David. I walk through life. In really nice shoes.”
ALEXIS ROSE
“I would hardly call myself an expert on this subject. And by subject, I mean genuine human emotion.”
DAVID ROSE
“David, the pedals make it move more.”
ALEXIS ROSE
“I am suffering romantically right now, and there was a minute I thought I would never have to look at another dating app.”
DAVID ROSE
“Where is bébé’s chamber?”
MOIRA ROSE
“Oh, it’s always just a cold, John—until it’s full-blown typhoid!”
MOIRA ROSE
“Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.”
MOIRA ROSE
“I don’t want to be taken advantage of because I’m overdressed.”
JOHNNY ROSE
“Just think of them as tiny little roommates whose tiny little poops you get to clean up.”
ALEXIS ROSE
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but is this car your home?”
MOIRA ROSE
“John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!”
MOIRA ROSE
“Talk to the hand, son. Because the ears are no longer working.”
JOHNNY ROSE
“Do you remember what Goldie Hawn told us at the amfAR dinner? ‘You are the life you accept for yourself.’ Those are Goldie’s words. Or something someone said to her. In India. Or perhaps she read it… In any case it has always stayed with me.”
MOIRA ROSE
David Schitts Creek Quotes
David’s narrative has been one of the most fascinating on the Schitt’s Creek show as he develops into a more open and less pessimistic person. The best sarcastic character is David Rose due to his famous one-liners. So, here are some exclusively selected David Schitt’s creek quotes for you. Use one of David’s unforgettable statements as an Instagram caption to bring some of that David energy into your life.
“I’m gonna need a stiff drink to get through this. stiff!”
DAVID ROSE
“I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit and falling asleep early. just a regular weeknight.”
DAVID ROSE
“I’ve been burned so many times I’m like the human equivalent of the inside of a roasted marshmallow.”
DAVID ROSE
“I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.”
DAVID ROSE
“Yeah I just feel like the whole session was rushed. Like, there was no backlighting, or emotional direction.”
DAVID ROSE
“I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot, that used to be a chardonnay. I like the wine, and not the label.”
DAVID ROSE
“I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.”
DAVID ROSE
“I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row.”
DAVID ROSE
“Everyone shut up! Ronnie, throw the thing!”
DAVID ROSE
“The internet is a breeding ground for freaks.”
DAVID ROSE
“I’m not going to the botanical gardens by myself. What, am I gonna walk around and admire the cherry blossoms alone, like some pervert?”
DAVID ROSE
“You know, being approachable isn’t that important anyway, the queen hasn’t smiled since the ’70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended.”
DAVID ROSE
“Someone brought room temperature vodka.”
DAVID ROSE
“The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you… a lot.”
DAVID ROSE
“Okay, well, movies aren’t always right, all right? You’ll learn that later in life.”
DAVID ROSE
“In case you didn’t know, I’m wildly popular. Some might even venture to call me beloved.”
DAVID ROSE
“It’s a general store, but it’s also a very specific store.”
DAVID ROSE
“One pizza? What is this, ‘Les Mis?’”
DAVID ROSE
“Would we call that pretentious, or timeless?”
DAVID ROSE
Relive some of the series’ moments with these amazing Schitt’s Creek quotes. You could caption your photo with your favourite line from the show. It can go with everything from your prettiest selfie to a sweet family snapshot. However, David quotation will go quite perfectly with all you end up posting on Instagram!
So, what are your favourites? Comment below. You can also check out these 30 Best Moira Rose Quotes from Schitt’s Creek: 11th one is Hilarious!
Naveen Kumar
Naveen Kumar is a writer and has a thing for collecting quotes and sharing them with people. Naveen is a space enthusiast. When he is not spreading good vibes or motivating people through quotes, you can find him sipping coffee while reading classic literature or on a long road drive.
