25 Funny Billy Madison Quotes With Images

Adam Sandler” by “celebrityabc“, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Billy Madison is a comedy film that you will surely like if you haven’t watched it. It’s the story of a man-child who returns to school to prove to his father that he can run their business. He was given a deadline to pass each grade and graduate from high school to earn his father’s trust.

The picture premiered in theatres in 1995 and rapidly established itself as one of the funniest flicks featuring the one and only Adam Sandler. With his magnificent acting and humorous dialogues, Adam Sandler portrayed the role of Billy Madison beautifully by bringing it to life on screen!

Chris Farley played a bus driver in the film, Jack Mather played Ted ‘Old Man’ Clemens, and many other actors played entertaining characters. These epic characters make Billy Madison a truly epic film with hilarious situations that the audience will not forget. We’ve compiled a list of the best and most memorable Billy Madison quotes from the movie for you to enjoy.

Funny Billy Madison Quotes

Billy Madison’s dialogues are the funniest ones in American comedy films. Here are some funny Billy Madison quotes that will make you chuckle!

“It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole.”

BILLY MADISON

“Well, I made the duck blue because I’d never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.”

BILLY MADISON

“Chlorophyll? More like bore-ophyll.”

BILLY MADISON

“I don’t know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.”

BILLY MADISON

“I’m not saying he’s an idiot. I just think he might not be mature enough to run a ‘Fortune Five Hundred’ company.”

ERIC GORDON
Funny Billy Madison Quotes
“Well ‘sorry’ doesn’t put the triscuit crackers in my stomach, now does it, Carl?”

“Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest. Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.” 

BILLY MADISON

“Hey kids, it’s me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head!” 

BILLY MADISON

“If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”

OLD FARM LADY

“If you’re going to stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.”

JUANITA

“What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?”

OLD FARM LADY
Funny Billy Madison Quotes
“You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.”

“Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can’t remember! What’s today?”

BILLY MADISON

“I’m sorry. I can’t hear you, I’ve been physically abused in the ear.”

BILLY MADISON

 “Ooh, that boy’s a fine piece of work all right. He’s a fine piece of a** though, too.”

JUANITA

Billy Madison Movie Quotes

Billy Madison’s characters show as humorous and strange at times. We’ll never forget ‘Billy Madison,’ so here are some more Billy Madison movie quotes that are hard to forget!

“I disagree. It’s a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best video game ever.”

BILLY MADISON

“O’Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family’s going down. But for now, I gotta study.”

BILLY MADISON
Billy Madison Movie Quotes
“You know how badly I could beat you, right?”

“I see your lips moving, but I can’t make out the words. I’m deaf! Ohh, Veronica Vaughn. Soooo hot! Want to touch the hiney!”

BILLY MADISON

“I am the smartest man alive!”

BILLY MADISON

More Billy Madison quotes

Fans of Adam Sandler’s liked his brash cosmic energy as Billy Madison. If you ever wanted to return to third grade and relish the memories, this has to be the next best thing. Here are some more Billy Madison quotes to enjoy.

“Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can.”

BILLY MADISON

“You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks or I’m gonna fail you. End of story.”

VERONICA

“When I graduated first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.”

FRANK
More Billy Madison quotes
“Here’s a nice piece of shit.”

“You know, some people have no willpower, no ambition. They just drift through life like lumps of crap.”

VERONICA

If you’ve watched the movie before, these quotes will bring back memories of the film’s most amusing scenes.

If you’ve never seen the movie, these quotes may appear to be the oddest and off-the-wall remarks you’ve ever heard. It’s akin to having a private joke. After you’ve seen the movie, you’ll understand why these lines are so amusing and memorable.

We would love to know which one of these Billy Madison quotes is your favorite.

You can also check out 25 Funny Austin Powers Quotes From The Movie.

Curated by: Divya Singh

Nitesh Kucchal

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