40 George Carlin Quotes On Pride, American Dream, Religion & More
George Carlin…the Best” by “ Tony Fischer“, licensed under CC BY 2.0
George Dennis Patrick Carlin was a famous American stand-up comedian, author, actor, and social critic. He was considered one of the most influential comics, famous for his
dark comedy and reflections on politics. He made appearances in the movies and dubbed many popular shows like “The dean of counterculture comedians”.
We have mentioned the best George Carlin quotes here. Check out!
George Carlin Religion Quotes
George Carlin presented his views on many topics. One of them is
religion. He didn’t only make the audience laugh but also challenged them to think independently. Let us have a look at his most famous quotes on religion.
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” George Carlin Source: Brain Droppings
“Religion is just mind control.” George Carlin
“I’m completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.” George Carlin Source: George Carlin Biography
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky.” George Carlin Source: George Carlin: You Are All Diseased
“Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don’t ask me to wear your shoes.” George Carlin
“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.” Source: Brain Droppings
“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” George Carlin Source: George Carlin, R.I.P.
“He – and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly.” George Carlin
“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” George Carlin
“The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.” George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes on American Dream
He talked about the American
Dream and his context was for the people of America. Carlin wanted to address the people to live in reality and don’t idolise the American dream. Here are some quotes on American Dream for the people.
“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” George Carlin Source: George Carlin: Jammin
“Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.” Source: Brain Droppings
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.” George Carlin Source: Brain Droppings
“Because the owners, the owners of this country, don’t want that. I’m talking about the real owners now, the BIG owners! The Wealthy… the REAL owners! The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.” George Carlin Source: Life Is Worth Losing
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” George Carlin Source: Brain Droppings
“And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope.” George Carlin
“I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.” George Carlin
“It’s never going to get any better, don’t look for it. Be happy with what you’ve got.”
“People are dreaming if they think they have rights. They’ve never had rights. There’s no such thing.” George Carlin
“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.” George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes on Pride
People often say comics have great pride and Carlin proved it to be true. He has a very sharp sense of humour and sometimes it is hard to understand what he really meant. But, the audience loved his work and here are some of his amazing quotes on pride.
“If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.” George Carlin Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
“I think I am, therefore, I am… I think.” George Carlin
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” George Carlin
“‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”
“Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.” George Carlin
“Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth.” George Carlin
“I don’t understand this notion of ethnic pride.” George Carlin
George Carlin Death Quotes
Carlin was a master of comedy. He produced more than 20 albums and made over a hundred appearances in shows. He was arrested for uttering the seven infamous words and faced trial too. In this segment, we have mentioned George Carlin quotes on death.
“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.” George Carlin
“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.” George Carlin
“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”
“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?” George Carlin
“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.” George Carlin
“Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!” George Carlin
“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.” George Carlin
“Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.” George Carlin
“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.” George Carlin
“I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.” George Carlin Source: Napalm & Silly Putty
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.” George Carlin
“Life is a near-death experience.” George Carlin Source: 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
And that’s a wrap! This was our favourite list of Quotes by George Carlin. He was
funny yet inspiring in many ways. We love his thoughts on the American dream and how he conveyed a message to the common people.
We hope you also got something to take away from these quotes or learnt more about George Carlin. You can also check out these
40 Most Hilarious John Mulaney Quotes to Make You Laugh!